May 2012
9 posts
sometimes we make the worst mistakes just because of anger.
we lose the ones we love and everything else that comes with them.
i didn’t give up because i didn’t love him anymore. i just realized there’s no more to this relationship, despite how hard we work at it, and those weekly arguments aren’t how a healthy relationship should be.
it’s not what made us love...
i just want to sleep forever because i hate waking...
you made your choice, and i couldn’t stop you.
i guess you got what you wanted all along.
i’m not worth it to you anymore.
i can't get rid of this heavy feeling in my chest.
truly grateful.
i always find myself going down my “liked” posts and re-reading them. Not all of them, but I always stop to read the blogs that were written about me. sometimes i feel like i don’t know if it’s good to be reminded of the way he felt for me, and hopefully he still feels the same. or i’m just telling myself that no, those feelings haven’t changed. that those...
My life is a total fucking mess.
He'll make an effort if he wants.
Ill always remember when i read some quote along the lines of, “if a guy wants you, theres nothing that will keep him away. if a guy doesnt want you, theres nothing that will make him stay.”
Its hard, but I see it now. How vast the difference is. And from my experiences, it’s true. Too true.
take it or lose it.
i worry, fuss, fight, whine, complain, think too much, and care too much.
but i believe that i do and feel these things because i simply do love you. with all of my heart. to the point where it hurts when i don’t feel the feeling is reciprocated.
maybe there is something i’m not understanding. some message that i’m not catching.
i hate being kept in the dark about things, and...
April 2012
12 posts
funny how life works.
we’ll always want what we can’t have and take advantage of what we do have.
amazing day today.
everything was just perfect.
it was a type of day where it was easy-going, there were no feelings of stress and responsibilities.
oh how much did i miss how those days happened so frequently back then.
but now i’m sitting at my laptop at 3:40 AM finishing on homework, but guess what? i’m not even mad because it was all worth it :)
there is seriously not enough time in one day.
i’m having such a horrible day today.
just when i’m about to head out of my dorm to walk to class, the storm began so instead i stayed inside my room and packed for the weekend.
once it was a bit before 3, my parents usually come and pick me up at 3, but i called just to check where they were and my mom said that she was on the way, but she didn’t go onto the freeway yet. so i...
so fucking tired of going back to square one.
i told myself to not let it happen, but i let it happen again.
but at least i’m reminded by his actions that things never change, so there’s no point going back to fix things.
people never change, circumstances can, but in this case, they never did and i should’ve learned from the first time that they never will.
it seems so far out of reach
but i’ll keep working :)
haha, haven’t felt this way in a while. don’t know if it’s beneficial or destructive, but if it works..
gooooddnesssssss.. AHHH!!!!! :D
ststeph:
My bad, I know this ain’t usually your...
“the truth hurts, but it doesn’t kill. lies may please, but they...”
back on that grind.
so i just found out today, 2 days into spring quarter, that i have a pool suuuuper close to where i dorm. hm, if i realized this two quarters ago, maybe i wouldn’t have dreaded getting my ass up to work out so much because walking to a bus stop then shuttling to the gym is not the business.. LOLOL :(
sad, but this only means that i have no reason to not get up to get some reps in and swim...
March 2012
7 posts
March 12, 2012.
you tell me not to worry about you, when i know there won’t be a day where you won’t cross my mind.
it’s comforting to know you’re doing alright and you’re fine. there’s no doubt that i still do intensely care about you, but it’s sad to admit that i loved you passionately.
maybe there will be that one day where we can talk as friends. without the...
i’ve lost my mind of what’s real and what’s not.
i don’t even know if the end of everything is what i want.
i don’t even know who i am when i look in the mirror now.
who am i?
what am i working for?
is anything even worth it anymore?
i feel like i just woke up from a bad nightmare.
February 2012
5 posts
The Business: LOVE. →
pandafresh:
‘How do you know when you’re in love?’
—
COMMON: Man, I know I’m in love when I think about her a lot and I’m finding ways to get to that person. Even though I gotta work, even though I gotta take care of other responsibilities, I’m like yo, when am I gonna fly out and…
sometimes i wonder how it's like to just not worry...
i just like to know things ahead of time. that’s just how i am. i like to plan things accordingly to time. i hate sitting around just waiting things to be done for me, but seriously i would want to know how that feels. life would be so much more chill.
i’m getting so tired of asking this and that, but why do i feel that when i don’t, i won’t find out or it...
No, I'm not going to lose feelings. No, I'm not...
couldn’t have said it better.
my kind of perfect.
January 2012
6 posts
distance makes the heart grow further, not fonder.
you had me right where you wanted me.
now i know to never go back to where i was.
thank you.
and i finally realize,
that day when i wake up and i’m a different person, i am different because of you. not because of anything else.
another bruise healed, another scar left.
i’m just glad i know that by the end of the day, i’ll be fine. always have been, and i will be for the rest of my days to come.
i’ll be okay. happiness will always be by my side. regardless of who or what it may...
and if you someday toss away all the cards,...
I've heard it a million times. "You can do better....
stop stalking. gah, let me live my damn life.
no one wants you so …..
GTFO
December 2011
9 posts
where is he?
there’s no need to hide. i saw you online. then barely after a minute of being on Facebook, you’re offline and shoot me a text? i guess.
those words have been said too much and heard too much. i know it means a lot to him and i guess it does mean something to me too, but the magnitude of how it’s said is so small now. it’s like “sorry” is just said to get...
so much has changed.
ironic how history repeats itself.
i guess with me, with any guy i meet, anything i try to do, everything i say is an effort gone unnoticed.
effort is key. and apparently, in the person i want to see it most, is blind to my efforts.
November 2011
5 posts
“she says kiss me like you miss me, fuck me like you hate me, and when you...”
